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The New SouthPark Order's scientific research team conducted track testing on behalf of the Blue Real Riders Club using two different track set-ups. One was a 3-foot drop, 22-foot length track. This duplicated our efforts of about a year before. In that session, due to vagaries of the track itself, we couldn't determine which of four cars was actually fastest. When the competition got down to those four, lane choice and repeated runs seemed to yield random results. In testing this year, only one of those four was still among the top cars.

The other track set-up was based on a Hot Wheels 2-Lane V-Drop track set. This creation had a 6.5-foot drop (from the top of an open closet door), but was only 15 feet long— including a few pieces of regular track added to the flat. The factory set seemed designed to measure which of two cars would fall the fastest. But we wanted to test physical properties such as inertia, friction, and momentum, more than simple gravity.

However, both track set-ups were still too short to yield conclusive, definitive results. Again, when the subject field narrowed to the fastest few, the finish results would randomize. Using two tracks did yield one benefit— when that randomization happened on one track, running the cars on the other track set-up, with different characteristics, would narrow the field further.

Based upon this research, out of a huge, wife-annoying pile of cars, we chose the four fastest ones to send to Rhode Island. These cars were:

2007 First Editions 1966 TV Batmobile 5sp— We started running this just for kicks, but it kept beating everything, including our RLC cars.

2006 First Editions 70 Plymouth Superbird FTE— Mattel's "Faster Than Ever" wheels don't seem to make much difference, and we didn't expect much from this one, but it did well... turns out that, in the discussion, tcooper (RLC# 42781) had suggested this model.

2006 First Editions Chrysler 300C Hemi FTE— Again with the "Faster Than Ever" wheels, this car was well-used, but it seemed to have become faster with age. People like the over-hyped FTEs; this one had been suggested by moparcrazy2 (HWC# 407875).

1997 First Editions Ford F-150 5sp— Over a decade old, plain and boring, this was the one vehicle among the fast four from a year ago that was still fast this year.

jim lombari  RLC™# 2594

OK, here are the results of the January race to take out the Datsun. Well over 200 cars faced the speedway, and at the end of the night the Datsun still reigned supreme, turning a time of 3.74. JR's Mega-Graphic Funny Car fell short; it was the fastest Hot Wheels car of the night but could not beat the Datsun.

Jimbo's RLC Batmobile from Michigan did a quick 3.83 and went a few rounds before other cars in the competition took it out.

Gary from Tipp City, Ohio, sent 19 contenders. His 1983-issue "Hot Ones" black 82 Supra did a 3.88. His 2000 Side Kick was a 3.97, and the rest of the cars were in the 4-second times.

Vinnie from Hubbard, Iowa pretty much had the same times. The "Faster Than Ever" T-Bird Stocker did a 3.88 and the 1995 NY Toy Fair Chevy Stocker pulled a 3.94. All the other cars were in the 4.0s.

The red Ford pick-up from Nebraska had a time of 3.89. The rest of the cars that came to us from the Blue Real Riders Club were all in the 3.91 to 3.93 range. Good times but not fast enough. You guys sound like a lot of fun goes on at your club, but I don't think I can provide any women like you suggest.

Well, the February meet is just a few weeks away, so get your cars in. I will be shipping everyone's cars back tomorrow, and thank you for racing.